Warriors Misfits
by Echoes In The Darkness
Summary: its starts of with the misfortune of Dustpelt, and the birthday of Tigerstar, but what happens when the clans discover The Hunger Games, Harry Potter, friday and- wait? What? Poptarts, Eggos and Band-Aids? Hilarity ensues Read and Review :)
1. Chapter 1: Dustpelt

**Hello everyone :) I have basically ignored writing since like.. LAST AUGUST :/ So I re-read all of my stories and I am going to hopefully going to rewrite most of them starting with this one. I am going to aim for 1k words per chapter, because 980 on 3 just isn't good enough. Judging by the reviews, people like them so here is a rewrite of the First Chapter... Oh and by the way there is no sense of time in this story. I don't care if so-and-so wasn't a warrior when Dustpelt was a warrior! If you don't like it then don't read it! **

Dustpelt

It was a warm day in the forest. The sun was shining, the birds were singing and Dustpelt wasn't talking, which is better than him complaining about being hungry.

It was in the morning and Dustpelt, Sorreltail, Brackenfur and Greystripe (A/N yeah I'm a Brit) were on a hunting patrol. It was deep in Newleaf, so prey was bountiful, and the patrol was about to head back to camp when something caught Dustpelt's eye.

Barely making a noise he crept forward to tell Greystripe about the squirrel in front of them.

'Should I go get it?' He asked hesitantly. The answer would probably be yes, but he didn't know if it could be worth it. It was a fat Newleaf squirrel.

'What do you think?' He asked sarcastically. He was about to answer him when he realised that it was a rhetorical question. By now, the whole patrol realised that there was a squirrel in front of them that was big enough to feed all 5 apprentices. He knew what he was about to do broke most, if not all of the hunting rules that he had ever been taught, but that wouldn't matter when he caught it. The patrol would be congratulating him, not telling him how to improve his technique.

He ran as fast as possible to get the squirrel. As he got nearer, he stretched his paws out ready to slice the UNfortunate animal's throat... That was the best case scenario. It was now clear that all 5 apprentices were not going to be fed by the legendary squirrel. They were going to be laughing instead. It turned out that, as fat as that squirrel was, it could still do what squirrels do best.. ** the Warriors off by jumping into trees less than a second before death. This is what happened in Dustpelt's case. As the squirrel, predictably, jumped into a tree, Dustpelt happened to have a face-on collision with a tree. It was not a pretty sight. He landed, no, attacked the tree with a sickening thud. You could see the skid marks on the ground, (No pun intended) where he had desperately tried to stop himself. And failed. For a moment he failed the side of the tree before staggering back trying to work out what happened. He looked up and could see the squirrel at the top of the tree, staring at him as if to say 'What the heck just happened to you dude?' He stumbled around stringing out incoherent sentences before turning around to face his clanmates.

'Oh..' Sorreltail trailed off as she was about to start laughing. To put it bluntly... Dustpelt's face was mangled. His jaw was dislocated, and his nose had moved across his face. His fur had been stretched out to it was hanging limply from his face. Apparently the shock had completely numbed the pain, and Dustpelt didn't have a clue what was wrong with him.

'Let's get you back to camp then where Leafpool can tend to your face.' Said Greystripe encouragingly. All of the cats assumed that Dustpelt knew what was wrong with him, so he asked if they could stop by at the river. He looked at his reflection and freaked out.

'StarClan no..' He muttered to himself. There is no way that anyone would be able to fix is face unless StarClan came down and healed it for him, and that he even doubted. He was never a cat for good looks and vanity, but he couldn't just ignore it. Great StarClan, he looked worse than Crookedstar.

They got back to camp and everyone was minding their own business.

'You took your time.' Laughed Firestar. They knew he didn't mind because if any cat wanted food then they could go out and hunt because of the nice weather, and it wan't like the freshkill pile was empty.

'Oh yes, about that,' started Brakenfur. He was leading that patrol, so felt obliged to explain the, um, situation. 'Well, urm, Dustpelt had an accident.' He explained hesitantly. As if on cue, the patrol moved back to reveal Dustpelt's mangled face and the whole Clan turned to look at him. No talking, no gasps, no ridiculously loud intakes of breath... Just silence.

'Well, are just going to stare at him like a twoleg staring at a sunset, or are you going to ask if he's ok?' Asked Ferncloud, his mate. He knew that that wouldn't work, so he turned his back on the clan and sloped off to the medicine den.

'Uh well there not much we can do about urm cases like yours, so why don't we just give you some poppyseeds to calm the pain and to make you go to sleep..'

Dustpelt took them and he drifted off into oblivion...

Meanwhile, Firestar was sleeping in his den when an unfamiliar cat arrived in his den.

'Greetings Firestar, I am Brambleberry.' She greeted him

'Hello Brambleberry, why do you come here to ThunderClan? I usually see you with the RiverClan cats.' He asked her

'Yes, I come from RiverClan, I saw what happened to Dustpelt earlier..' She waited for Firestar's reply patiently.

'Yes, I'm not sure how to address it.' He replied uncertainly.

'Dustpelt started to go down a new path of life. When things like this happen it is customary to change the victim's name. I am not going to bother with a prophecy, because I find in circumstances like this they just bother the recipient. So I am just going to say it.. You need to change Dustpelt's name.' Brambleberry faded away, back into StarClan. Firestar found that that was the first time he had a dream involving StarClan and not ending up being ridiculously confused.'

'May all cats old enough to hunt their own prey gather to hear my words. Last night I was visited by Brambleberry, a medicine cat from StarClan, and she told me to re name Dustpelt-' Firestar announced, but he was interrupted by protests from his clan.

'You changing my mate's name because a RIVERCLAN cat told you to?' Shouted an unimpressed Ferncloud.

'That's ridiculous.' Shouted Mousefur.

' I will not go against the will of StarClan!' Shouted FireStar.

'Dustpelt, come up here. From this moment on you will be known as Squishface. StarClan honours your bravery and courage.' Said Firestar struggling not to burst out laughing. He just liked to think of this as revenge for all of the times he used to find him trying to seduce Sandstorm. Dustpelt also used this opportunity to give and announcement.

'ThunderClan, I would like to use this opportunity to step down as a Warrior, I would like to become an Elder.' He stated sadly.

'Very well then Dus-, sorry Squishface. We thank you for your service to ThunderClan.'

'Squishface, Squishface, Squishface!' Shouted the Clan.

The End

**Hope everyone enjoyed it! I would love any suggestions, just review/PM me them! :)**


	2. Chapter 2: Tigerstar

Well hello there! Here are the reviews answers!

Lionfeather- Hello Sophs! :) Thanks for the comment!

Silverwish of WindClan- Yay! Someone appreciates my hard work! Don't worry I will continue!

And I am in NO way making fun of gay people in this chapter! I have nothing against them and I am very sorry is offended by it. Oh and this chapter includes suggestive themes, don't worry nothing to worry about its just this: 'I love the way your eyes stare at me seductively,'... That is the only blatant one, but I'm sure you could find others if you tried! Don't worry this story is still T!

Tigerstar

All was calm in the Dark Forest. Actually, considering the current circumstances, everything was NOT calm. You see, today was Tigerstar's birthday, and the Dark Forest wanted to do something special... SUPRISE BIRTHDAY PARTY!

Now before they could do anything, they needed to get Tigerstar out of the clearing. Who better to do the deed than Darkstripe?

'Tigerstar!'

'What?'

'I need to talk to you!'

'Why?'

'Because I do!'

'What if you're going to kill me?'

'Seriously Tigerstar?! Grow a pair!'

'Come on! I'm not the one who styles my fur in front of a puddle in the morning.'

With that remark Darkstripe tilted his head away from him.

Darkstripe headed deeper into the forest, and Tigerstar was subconsciously following him.

'So is that all you wanted to talk about then? Because there is some really important stuff I need to sort out at the camp.'

Darkstripe had hit rock bottom. He had nothing so say to Tigerstar in the first place, and he didn't even know if the rest of the Dark Forest had finished decorating the camp. It was either complete humiliation in front of his idol, or getting his face clawed apart by the other cats... He took the humiliation instead.

'Well Tigerstar, there's something I have been wanted to ask you about for a while know. I mean, I know how you feel about this subject, and I don't want to pry-'

Started Darkstripe, but suddenly he didn't know if he wanted to carry on..

'StarClan no,' Tigerstar wailed 'how do YOU know? I told her not to tell anyone! How could she do this to me? To US?' It looked as if Darkstripe had hit an emotional part of Tigerstar. How is the possible? The great Tigerstar has an emotional range of a leaf.

And then he realised... Tigerstar had a mate! He couldn't tell him NOW! Ah, screw that, he just wanted to see his reaction..

'Tigerstar, I love you! I have loved you ever since I died. I love the way your eyes stare at me seductively,' or not thought Darkstripe. It's not like any of this are his actual true feelings!

'Love the colour of your pelt and the way it glimmers in the moon light, I-'. Tigerstar abruptly cut him off.

'I"m sorry Darkstripe, there is not way I would ever be able to feel the same way about you! The truth is, I- I- I'm in love with Mapleshade, and she loves me too. After everything that she's been through, she doesn't deserve for me and you to go walking through the forest expressing our feelings and doing stuff behind her back. It's just not right.' Tigerstar wasn't upset as he said this, just disappointed.

'Oh what have we got here then? One of the main leaders of the Dark Forest is in LOVE with another she cat. I wonder what. The others would say?' Snarled Darkstripe. He was loving every moment of the trickery, but there was no way he was going to get away with it un-punished.

He bounded off into the forest with Tigerstar hot on his paws. He went as fast as he cold toward the camp entrance and then swerved behind a tree so he would enter the camp first. It appeared as if no one was there, but after Tigerstar scanned the camp a few times, everyone jumped out from behind a tree. They were all wearing conical party hats with the noisemakers scaring off all of the prey.

'HAPPY BIRTHDAY!' Screamed the Dark Forest. There was a table full of food, and there was even streamers in the trees. And then he realised there was a big banner with his name on it.' Aww' he thought to himself,' these cats really love me.' There was music and yowling cats everywhere, so it was no wonder the StarClan cats started waking up.

*STARCLAN*

'What on ThunderClan is that noise?' Asked Yellowfant to no one in particular.

'It's the Dark Forest,' stated Spottedleaf. A matter of factly. 'They are having some kind of party.' She said.

'Mmm, I wish they would stop...' Yellowfang once again dropped back into her slumber, the way everyone liked her.

Instead of just WONDERING what was happening, Mosskit and Swiftpaw decided to do the paws-on task and go and see what was happening. They ran quickly to the StarClan/Dark Forest border so Bluestar and Goldenflower, the kit's mothers wouldn't see them.

'Look,' whispered Mosskit 'I can see them. They are all wearing different coloured mounds on their heads and dancing round Tigerstar.'

'What on ThunderClan are they doing though,' Swiftpaw thought out loud.

'SWIFTPAW! MOSSKIT!' Yowled Moonflower.

'Oh no. Moonflower is worse than 10 Bluestars put together.' Thought Swiftpaw. As soon as Moonflower got to the two young cats, Thistleclaw came bounding over.

'What do you think you are doing, trying to cross the border stupid kits?' Snarled Thistleclaw

'We jus-' Moonflower just cut Mosskit off

'I'm sure they just wanted to know what all of the racket coming from the forest is.' Moonflower said curtly.

'Well, its none of your business. Get back to your happy-clappy, sunshine and rainbows world or I will personally kill you and the kits for a second time.' Thistleclaw said and turned his back on the cats.

'Hey! I'm not a ki-' Swiftpaw didn't get to finish his sentence as Moonflower sharply nudged him back towards StarClan.

Dark Forest

'Here is your present from me!' Shouted Mapleshade. Tigerstar took the wrapping off the large gift, and gave Mapleshade the biggest hug EVER.

'Its, Its what I have always wanted!' His eyes welled up as he said the last part

THE END

Hello! Hope you enjoyed it. The first person to guess what he got gets a free chapter on whatever and whoever they want! Review please! :)

*HINT- its to do with UNICORNS!*


	3. Chapter 3:: The Appearance of Flapjack

**Hi everyone! **** How ya doin? I've been thinking recently, and I have decided to make a slight change to this story. Instead of just having funny one-shots about random ThunderClan cats, I have decided to add something new! I am going to add in really random and strangely funny chapters, much like 'When StarClan gets bored' by Chucklez-Lives-On and 'Clan Craziness' by Lunarwing-Hawktalon. I will probably change the story to one of those things. Here are the review answers:**

**Lionfeather- Fanks you **** Glad you like it Sophs.**

**Silverwish of windclan: Thanks for the nice comment! It's good to know someone thinks it's funny.**

**Moonbeam141- Nope! Keep guessin'**

**Sunmist- Ok. Thanks for the concrit.**

**Hi10000000- Why so many zeros? And nope, his gift wasn't any of those things. Keep guessing **

**DaughterOf TheMostHigh- YAY! At least it's entertaining: D **

**Wildfire10- You are one of the original viewers **** I'm glad you stuck with it!**

**Hollowflight- Nope he didn't get rainbows!**

**I don't own Warriors, THG, HP or any other brands in this story… just the new clan names and the new leaders…**

**Ok, so he got an army of evil unicorn minions… what is a leader without them?**

Chapter 3: Harry Potter, Hunger Games and Friday (PS I don't own any of that! Or warriors.)

All was normal in the ThunderClan camp until StarClan decided to wreak havoc on them.

All of the ThunderClan cats were sleeping until they simultaneously woke and went to the middle of camp. A strange cat was talking to them by they were there.

"My name is Mystical Flapjack," she said "but you may call me Flapjack." The kits were mesmerised by the awesomeness of this cat.

"What are you doing here?" asked Lionblaze

"I am here to take over the clan…. Any questions?" she asked. Lillykit shot her paw up before anyone else.

"What's a flapjack?" she asked her curiously. Flapjack took a moment to think of an answer that the cats would understand.

"A flapjack is a bar of oats stuck together with corn syrup." She said matter of factly.

All of the clan nodded their heads, even though they didn't understand much about what she just said.

"What is your name?" she asked Lillykit

"Lillykit." She said proudly. Flapjack gave a loud gasp before talking very loudly and very excitedly again to the clan.

"YAY! You have the perfect name, you! She you," she pointed to Brackenfur. "You are going to become mates with LilyEvansKit here, and you are going to be called JamesPotterKit. Have we got a HarryPotterKit here," here she asked. When nobody raised their paw she continued. "No? Well then, I guess I should have asked SkyClan instead. Then you are going to have a child called HarryPotterKit, oh but then you die and…" Flapjack carried on and described every single detail from each of the Harry Potter books. While she was at it, she gave all of the cat different names, which resulted in every cat going away and crying, because they knew who and why they were going to be killed. "Anyway, look on the bright side! Its Friday BRAP BRAP!" screamed Flapjack.

"Friday, Friday, Friday!" screamed the kits who currently didn't have a clue what this 'Friday' was.

"Wait!" screamed Ferncloud.

"SHADDUP!" screamed the rest of the clan.

"But, But you can't take the kits out of the camp. They aren't 6 moons old yet." sobbed Ferncloud. Brightheart went up to her and reassured her that everything was going to be alright.

"Chill Ferncloud. I'm letting my kits out with her and I'm not screaming like some pyromaniac." said Brightheart. Once again, Flapjack attempted to take the kits out to the sandy hollow and this time… she succeeded. Now once they were there, she explained QUIDDITCH to them.

And then they didn't see them until they got back to camp later that day…

Once they got back to camp, a new naming ceremony took place.

" I wanna change the name of these kits. Its not an initiation ceremony, so StarClan doesn't need to be here," with that the StarClan cats that were gathered around the looking puddle walked away.

"Seedkit, you are now OliverWoodKit, Amberkit you are now KatieBellKit, Dewkit, you are now called AliciaSpinnetKit, Flowerkit, you are now called AngelinaJohnsonKit, Leoparskit, you are now called FredWeasleyKit, Awesomekit, you are now called GeorgeWeasleyKit, and Rebeccakit, you are now called QuidditchHarryPotterKit**." (A/N you do not know how many red squiggly lines on MS Word there are in that paragraph :/) **

Ferncloud and Brightheart were crying in the corner because their kits had been renamed to names of people that they didn't even know.

As soon as the ceremony was over, the kits were all in a circle screaming

"QUIDDITCH! QUIDDITCH! QUIDDITCH!" and then much to the protests of their parents started Quidditch. Now you are probably think "WTF! How the heck are muggle kits flying on broomsticks playing Quidditch in the ThunderClan camp?" Right so, real Harry Potter Quidditch and cat Quidditch is VERY different. The game that the kits were playing went like this…

OliverWoodKit was running around in a box trying to catch the bits of moss that KatieBellKit, AliciaSpinnetKit and AngelinaJohnsonKit were throwing at him. FredWeasleyKit and GeorgeWeasleyKit were batting around 2 stones, and QuiditchHarryPotterKit was running around looking for a fly. All in all, this was very different from what Flapjack had in mind, but oh well. Kits will be kits…

"Let all cats old enough to be awesome gather around the cupcake rock to hear my words. Yes, its now called the cupcake rock. Secondly, im changing the name of the rock to CupcakeRock. Now homies, this clan has SO much wrong with it. Who the heck calls their clan ThunderClan," all of the cats turned and looked at each other. And awkward silence ensued. "so, anyone got any ideas?" she asked the clan.

"Oh me! Me! Me! Me!" screamed Oliverwoodkit.

"What?" asked Flapjack, her voice turning into Gru's from Despicable Me.

"We should be called HungerGamesClan!" he shouted. This proceeded in Cloudtail running around the camp and pointing at everything and saying "That is mahogany!" in his best Effie Trinket voice.

"All in favour of HungerGamesClan," asked Flapjack to the Clan. He only gave them 2 seconds to answer and then screamed. "MOTION FAILED! WE ARE NOW CALLED BROCLAN!"

"Yay!" screamed the Clan. Then Flapjack poofed them to the island….

**Hope you liked it guys! REVIEW!**


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